April 12th, 2001

2013

heh

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull dog on a leash.

Behind her were 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know this is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

The woman replied, "Well that first hearse is for my husband."
"What happened to him?"
"My dog attacked and killed him."
"Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother in law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."
  • Current Mood: amused
  • Current Music: Blondie - "The Dream's Lost On Me"
2013

That drama queen

J had called me earlier today and told me his house had been broken into on Tuesday. They got his stereo equipment and apparently tried to get his computer stuff as well but didn't. Poor baby. He found two of his pornos on the floor; apparently the robbers didn't know what they were or (as I more firmly believe) figured the videos were probably too worn out to be of any good use. LOL He put his friend Victor (whom I'd never talked to before) on the phone while he was doing something. He sounded like a cool guy. At least we bonded while insulting J every way we could. *G* The two will be heading to S.F. this Saturday and I made sure to gave Victor some sage advise: watch J's hands, constantly. *WG* Oh, and J's still insisting that's he's a top. *rolls his eyes* Riiiiight.
  • Current Mood: chipper
  • Current Music: Nelly Furtado - "I'm Like A Bird"