November 13th, 2001

2013

because I like blonde jokes

A blonde woman wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after
gathering all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After
positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from
the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

Startled, the blonde moves further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut
yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool,
and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

She stopped, looked skyward, and said "Is that you Lord?

The voice replied: "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK!"



A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a bar stool. After ordering a
drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a
blonde joke?"

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
  • Current Mood: amused
  • Current Music: Pat Benatar - "One love"
squeek, go for the eyes, boo

because I'm a lemming...

The NecroBones EVIL-Test
Score: 109 out of 200 (54.5%)

Fairly Evil


You are definitely doing some fine work for us, you evil thing you! We're proud of your efforts to corrupt the world in which we exist. We can only hope that you will continue in your efforts to be destructive and cruel in the future. While you are certainly considered an asset to us, you will find that there is still room for improvement. If you can refrain from killing them, some of the other evil people around you may give you some inspiration or ideas on how you can continue to grow in your state of being evil. At this stage you are certainly prospering sufficiently to be one of our honored friends. Come to the dark side, you know you want to!

*squints* That score is waaaaaaaaaay too low... or else I'm getting better at fooling people. *rubs hands together and cackles maniacally* Yes!

Click here to find out what size you really are

Morty the Death's Head
  • Current Mood: amused
  • Current Music: Garbage - "Breaking up the girl"