Big Gay Vince, bastard, Southpark me

IKEA walkthrough / survival guide

"IKEA is a fully immersive, 3D environmental adventure that allows you to role-play the character of someone who gives a shit about home furnishings. In traversing IKEA, you will experience a meticulously detailed alternate reality filled with garish colors, clear-lacquered birch veneer, and a host of NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS (NPCs) with the glazed looks of the recently anesthetized."

On with the adventure! w/ The Non-Expert

*notes for future reference*
  • Current Music: Natalie Imbruglia - "Glorious [Bimbo Jones Remix]"
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Oddly enough, I was leafing through an Ikea catalogue 20 minutes ago when I noted a neat solution to a (non furniture) problem I have, and resolved to go tomorrow, for the first time in a couple of years (and the third time ever).

... Now I may just curl up under the bed and whimper instead!
Just about everyone online I know has been to an IKEA and brought something home, even if just scented candles. I've seen things in their catalogs that I've liked, but not liked enough to make the two hour trip to the nearest store.
In the end I wasted an hour because I got confused and took the wrong tram line - then when I found the right one, there were no trams and I wasted another three-quarters of an hour standing around before I succumbed to the lure of Hungry Jack's [Burger King - a far cry from the Swedish meatballs I'd been looking forward to] and went home pissed-off.

... Which means I have to try again on Thursday. (Although I just realised I forgot to take the bag of old batteries for recycling, so at least there's a Zn/MnO2 lining.)